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Long ago, in the days of our swinging forefathers, which was pretty much just the 60’s and the 70’s, the lifestyle of the swinger came to prominence hand in hand with mass media.  People weren’t happy trying to just defile their neighbors’ wife, they wanted to meet new and nasty people to have fun with, and we don’t blame them.  Those people were pioneers.  Pussy pioneers.

At any rate, newspaper personals and the back pages of adult magazines became homes for numerous ads from regular joes and professionals alike offering and seeking sexual services.  But obscenity laws being what they were, things had to be discrete.  Thus, if someone wanted some backdoor action they couldn’t just come out and say anal.  They said Greek.  You want oral?  Nope, French.  Tit fucking?  Not quite, you want Russian (why?  We don’t know, just go with it).  For a long time this very simple system of code words was both cute and efficient.  Oh, you speak Greek?  Wonderful, bend over and let’s talk.

Nowadays, with everyone and their grandmother on the internet and sex a far more complex affair than just 3 minutes of silent missionary thrills like we assume our parents enjoyed, escorts have come up with more codes than the average military operation to advertise what they offer.  Ironically, in this effort to simplify things, you pretty much need a decoder ring or a degree in linguistics to keep it all in check.

We can all enjoy the simple classics like BDSM or BJ, but where the hell did BBBJTCIM come from?  That stands for bareback blowjob to completion in mouth.  That’s practically a whole sentence.  The internet, with its extensive use of BRB and LOL and so on seems to make everyone want to simplify everything and if there’s one thing that doesn’t need simplifying, it’s sex.  Especially since the simplification makes everything more complex.

If an escort says she does DATO are you really going to know what that is right off the bat?  A quick look at our decoder ring says it means “dining at the O.”   Frankly, if you don’t know what DATO means, you probably don’t know what dining at the O means either so you need to look up that too.  Our Greek speaking predecessors would be just as confused.  And, just for future reference, DATO means ass eating.  Don’t say we never taught you anything.

In the spirit of making things easier for you, we offer you this list of obvious and slightly less than obvious acronyms so that you can bookmark this page for future reference, should you ever find yourself shopping online and wondering if the escort you’re reading about is offering you a full body sensual massage (FBSM) or some kind of new tires for you car.

ATM:  ass-to-mouth (not something to propose on a first date)
BBBJTCWS:  bareback blowjob to completion with swallow (the protein shake)
BBBJWF: bareback blowjob with facial (the glazed donut look)
BBK: Big beautiful knockers (probably doesn’t refer to doors)
BBW:  Big beautiful woman (people don’t usually lie about the first B, but you might wanna confirm the second one.  And the W, too)
BLS: Ball licking and sucking (can be done with a vacuum and some butter in a pinch)
CBJ: covered blowjob (usually a condom, but party balloons are more festive)
CD: Cross dresser (because silk panties just feel kinda nice)
CIF:  Cum in face (popular in Japanese videos)
CG: Cowgirl (spurs optional)
CMG: Carpet matches drapes (rare, as we haven’t seen many bald women)
DAP:  Digital anal probe (let your fingers do the walking to the back door)
DATY: Dining at the Y - going down on a woman (much better than actual meals at the YMCA)
DDE: Doesn’t do extras (no toy with this happy meal)
DFK: Deep French kissing (bring mints, for you or her)
DSL: Dick sucking lips (almost as cool as our new invention DSR: dick sucking robot)
DT: Deepthroat (not just a fun movie to watch with the family)
FS: Full service, sex to completion ( pump, squirt, sleep)
FW: Foot worship (this little piggie was a naughty, naughty girl)
GFE: Girlfriend experience (the good kind of girlfriend, not the one who bitches about your mom)
GS: Golden shower (snorkel not included)
GSM: G-spot massage (reach for the stars, or just in a couple inches and up a little)
HJ: Hand job (manual labor)
HWP:  Height/weight proportionate (not a rectangle)
LK: Light kissing, closed mouth (like a visit from grandma)
MSOG: Multiple shots on goal, getting off more than once (pump, squirt, sleep, repeat)
OWOTC: Oral without condom to completion (mouthfuls of fun)
PSE:  Porn Star Experience (probably doesn’t include a crowd watching)

Comments

Shouldn't it be OWCTC?

(0 points)

Shouldn't it be OWCTC?

Hate to be a bother, but

(1 point)
Hate to be a bother, but you forgot a very important one: BBBJCIMNQNSGBCBJTSO = Bare back blow job cum in mouth no quit no spit gargles blows cum bubbles just to show off - AKA - "The Right Way"

LoL... you guys are silly!

(0 points)

LoL...
you guys are silly!

Dude, I haven't had a great

(0 points)

Dude, I haven't had a great teary eyed laugh out loud moment like this in a long time. Thanks. If it's alright I'd like to show this and share it with some friends? They'll laugh thier ass off. Thanks again.

Almost too good for an

(0 points)

Almost too good for an escort review site. Apparently Ian is the resident Proust of Poon.

I don't know, the guy that

(0 points)

I don't know, the guy that writes this blog is damn good. He should be in a magazine or something. You know, while magazines still make money and don't get swallowed up by the internet. I think people should go to this site just for the blog.

Nice blog. While looking

(0 points)

Nice blog. While looking for an escort in Houston I came across the below post of another blogger on the same subject. It's an extensive list which I thought was pretty cool too:

http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=347868&postco...

check it out.

It's good....Almost too good

(0 points)

It's good....Almost too good for an escort review site.

Few eco-conscious shoppers

(0 points)

Few eco-conscious shoppers consider the chemicals used to create their intimate devices. Yes, those things - from vibrators resembling long-eared bunny rabbits to sleeves and rings in shapes ranging from faux female to flower power. If these seem like unmentionables, that's part of the problem: while some are made with unsafe materials, it's tough to talk about that like, well, adults.

Analyse indicates that 95%

(0 points)

Analyse indicates that 95% of all of age women suffer from special vaginal dryness at some point. Intimate close lubricants for women are habituated to to renew tender moisture to the vulva and vagina and to abet in sexual intercourse or masturbation. Lubes aid in earthy happiness by reducing ill feeling during relations as well as masturbation as intimacy toys tend to be more drying. There are several brands and types of personal lubricants on the market. Exclusive lubricants conventionally capitulate into four divergent categories: water-based, petroleum-based, oil-based and silicone-based. Water-based are the most greatly utilized lubricants and are satisfactory for the benefit of most types of screwing play. Silicone-based lubes are most slippery but should not be cast-off with silicone sex toys as it may lead astray the toy. Petroleum and oil-based lubricants are not recommended in support of women as they can pick at the vagina.Also, lubricants that contain parabens may also agency irritation and water-based lubes that restrain sugars may genesis yeast infections. There are also flavored lubes, clitoral provocative balms and manipulate oils that are dialect right popular.
Adult VOD

PlumberD wrote:Nice blog.

(0 points)
PlumberD wrote:

Nice blog. While looking for an escort in Houston I came across the below post of another blogger on the same subject. It's an extensive list which I thought was pretty cool too:

http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=347868&postco...

check it out.

whaaddyyaaKnow.Eye-wink