I thought the following was too funny not to share. I've never been lucky enough to join the mile high club have any of you? It seems like it would be pretty tough no matter how easy this manual makes it appear to be:

Airplane Sex Guide

For your own safety and comfort and that of your fellow passengers and crew, please observe the following regulations when engaging in in-flight sex.

Sex While Seated
Regulations require that you keep your seatbelts fastened at all times when seated. Therefore, only oral and manual sex are permitted in the main cabin. If you desire privacy, you may request a blanket to conceal your activities.

Autofellatio
This option is always available to our passengers who prefer to self-suck. To avoid head injuries, make sure your tray table is secured in its upright and locked position.

Hand Job

To initiate a hand job, unzip the fly of the passenger seated immediately next to you, freeing his penis. Grasping the shaft firmly, use a brisk up-and-down motion until climax is achieved. Flight attendants may provide moist towelettes for cleanup. Hot towels are available to our first-class passengers.

Blow Job
To initiate a blow job, unzip the fly of the passenger seated immediately next to you, freeing his penis. Rotate your torso 90 degrees and flex at the waist until your mouth contacts the recipient’s hard on. Move head up and down as indicated.Passengers who are unable or prefer not to swallow may use the paper receptacle bags located in the forward seat pocket. After use, give the bag to a flight attendant for disposal.

To facilitate sex in the close quarters of an airline lavatory, may we suggest the following positions. Due to the size of the facilities, threesomes are prohibited.
Seated sex positions are recommended if the airplane encounters turbulence.
We must remind you that smoking after sex or tampering with a lavatory smoke detector are federal offenses.

Blow Job (Sitting)
If emergency fecal evacuation is required, this position may be used for performing a blumpkin maneuver. In this case, be sure the commode lid is OPEN.

Intercourse - Doggy-Style Against Sink
Save time by using this position to wash your hands or fix your makeup while having sex.

Intercourse – Sitting on Sink

Avoid activating the faucet in this position or you’ll end up with an extra large wet spot.

The rest is available here: http://www.sextutor.com/plane/