No offense, but you don't sound happy.

Did you try talking to her about it? If you can't confide in the woman you're considering marrying, maybe you should reconsider. Sex is an important part of a relationship and it should be discussed IMO.

Talk about it. Don't just give "hints". Ask her flat out if there's any specific reason why she doesn't do it.
Ask her if there's anything special that you can do for her.

If giving you a BJ is just not one of her favorite things, maybe it's not something she hates, either.

There might be something that you don't hate doing for her, but that you wouldn't mind that much... just find out what it could be (often it's not sexual at all, it's just like bringing her coffee while she's still in bed).

If she finds it disgusting to suck dick you should reconsider the marriage ideas.

Definitely just be open about it. You might find she has issues with your hygiene. If you talk about and she doesn't do anything about it then welcome to the club. There is nothing unusual about your situation and you basically have three options:
1. Dump her and find a girl who likes giving bjs (highly improbably)
2. Stick with her and deal with out the BJs (life's too short IMO)
3. Stay with her and leave the BJs to the pros (don't feel bad about it, its not like you are replacing anything your GF is doing. You are just paying for a service that you can't get for free)

SciFiWriterX there is n/wrong with seeing a provider while having a SO. I for one have a Swedish SO that is both statuesque and beautiful, but one that has a voracious appetite must have variety to satisfy that hunger...

http://www.pbase.com/dehl/image/108420583

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Kaden K.

There is no rule whether it's ok to see providers or not while you're in a committed relationship.

Every relationship has to set it's own boundaries.

And geez if she doesn't want to blow you, she'll better be ok if you get it elsewhere.

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I do feel guilty about seeing a provider because I know that if my SO found out she would be devastated over it. I personally see nothing really wrong with it.

The thing is, I know that if I continue sooner or later she'll find out - and it's not worth losing her over a few blow jobs. I'm going to take the advice above and simply talk to her about it. We have a lot of sex life left, so I need to do what I can to make it great for the both of us.

Good luck with that...when you realize that she's not going down any time soon come back to us for some more advice

That's what I was thinking. Let's just say if I was a betting man I'd bet that we'll see this guy here again.

I used to think it's because of the legal issues that prices are higher here than in other countries... maybe I'm completely wrong and there's just so much more demand.

I sometimes say as a joke: "when I'm a relationship counselor, I'll fix 90% of all problems by just telling the women that they have to give their SO a BJ once a week"

Probably it isn't a joke at all. Watch out for the headlines in about 10 years... wouldn't that be something for Cosmo? "How to make your man faithful, attentive, caring, and generous - just takes 10 min a week!"

no its the legal issues i think if we had some sanity there prices would plummet to around the average for developed countries ie 100-150 or so. if the act wasnt illegal there would be a lot more competition for example.

Does the USA have the highest priced prostitutes? I guess that's true on average.

I think you're right about the high demand. The USA, overall, has got to be one of the most sexually repressed countries in the world. With all of the bible belt denizens preaching one thing and desiring another, sex work is probably a profitable job choice for an American woman.

Tough call whether the bible belt has anything to do with the prices or not. England doesn't have a bible belt and my experience there was very pricey.

Typing as someone who lives in the Bible Belt - not sure geography has anything to do with escort prices. But, we do have our share of very nice ladies. Also as one who must travel frquently out of the Bible Belt - I think pricing has more to do with supply and demand or more aptly - known supply that we fellas demand. Very few advertise in rustbelt states, but those that do seem to command a higher dollar (or so it would seem). Add to this that it is not legal-maintstream morally permissable -etc. - the forbidden always carries a relatively higher price tag than the accepted, unless you live in Vegas.

Vegas is overrated. I'll take Tampa over Vegas any day.

Maybe it's because I'm a little older, but Vegas used to be an incredible place to visit when it was run by real criminals, rather than by the corporate criminals that run it today. The city doesn't even know what it wants to be anymore. They turned it into a family vacation spot a couple of decades back and realized that they made a mistake, so they started an advertising campaign a few years ago that states "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"...give me a break. Some of us remember Vegas when it was really the city of sin. When it didn't need a TV commercial to remind people of what the word "Vegas" used to mean.

Vegas is just another city as far as I'm concerned.

There are areas adjacent to Tampa where prostitution is legal? That was my point about the forbidden usually carrying a higher price tag. At the ranches outside of Vegas (where the deed is legal) - the price still seems high to me.

My guess on the prices where it's legal in Nevada has to do more with supply and demand. Some people will travel specifically to say the bunny ranch in (Carson City??) just to be legal. However if it were legal in say 30 of the 50 states then maybe you'd see a price drop.

However we are not taking into account what the providers feel their time is worth, and that also affects prices. I'm not sure a provider would cut their prices just because it was legal. If their business dropped possibly.

Net

In other countries, where there are no legal issues, the average prices are lower.

Of course, somebody who has great reviews and offers something that's hard to find can charge what she wants - anywhere.

You may have to go to providers to get the other fun things.
I see this when I was getting into relationships, first it is like wow she will do everything then she does some things until you get nothing at all. Once you are married you are SOL.
I do not even try to get a girlfriend. Finding providers for me is the way to go. It may not be socially acceptable but it is me. You could almost call it a hobby.

I've noticed that there are a few members here who are exclusively intimate with providers. It's nice to know that a lifestyle like that is an option for men, and that many men are completely content with that lifestyle choice. As I get older, the hobbyist lifestyle looks more and more attractive to me.

As I said in another thread: if it's about sex and eye candy, why would ANYBODY waste their time dating civvies? of course it makes more sense to see providers.

fuck what's "socially acceptable" - that's BS anyway. Better not to have an SO than to do all the lying and bullshitting that seems to be completely acceptable until it's found out.

Back to the original issue - if seeing a provider is making you feel bad, then you have a problem you need to fix. Why engage in activities that make you unhappy, whether that be marrying or seeing a provider? If you can't talk to her about what you want and you know she won't approve of you seeing a provider, but you're going to do it anyway, why are you with her?

Happiness shouldn't be a balancing act. Either you're happy or you're not, if you try to force it your life is going to be miserable and odds are your relationship is going to fail.

All I know I have gotten unforgettable bj's from providers. And I know I am happy about it.
I think maybe the shame and or guilt may come from it's acceptability in our society.
I do not tell everyone I work with what my activities are. Some of the people I know do not know what fun is. They like their hell it is theirs to keep.

North I agree, but I also don't tell my coworkers about my escapades with an SO either. I think my only anxiety with a provider is the possibility of getting busted by LE.

Going back to the original question, the key comment might well be ... "soon the sex became pretty much standard: intercourse a few times per week". For a lot of women, bjs are a fundamental part of the early courtship. But once a relationship settles down, they get overlooked for the same reason as a lot of the other things you do when you're first together... crazy stuff and otherwise... falls away as well.

It's not that she doesn't like doing it, it's just that... well, if you've never said anything, and you seem happy having intercourse, then it probably doesn't even cross her mind. And before anybody laughs, shrugs or disagrees, look at your relationship your own SO, and count up all the things that you used to do - and not only in the bedroom!!!!!! - that you don't think about anymore.

A girlfriend once told me that you give your bf a blowjob for the same reason as he might give you flowers or a gift. I'm not 100% sure that I agree with her, but... when was the last time you bought your SO a bouquet for no reason at all?

t think thats why id just as soon pay for it, if i want a no spit no quit session i get it if i dont feel like it or want something else i book for something else life is simple when your single lol.

guys need to stop being such p*ssies and demand one every morning before they go to work or they can just "lose interest" in paying the mortgage.

then you'll see some women sucking it up.

Here, here!

Welcome back Ana. I've missed your charming way.

if this girl isn't your dream come true, why would you marry her ?

i can't understand this.

do you know how many women are on the planet ?
why throw away half your earnings on someone who isn't making you happy ?

tomorrow is never a guarentee... you need to understand how precious every single moment of your life is and NEVER waste them.

if you want a woman who craves your dick in her mouth, wtf are you doing with one who doesn't ? wasting time that could be better spent looking for the one who does.

i realize there's more to a relationship than sex & money but would you try to cook a gourmet meal without bread and water ? you got to have the basics before you try anything fancy.

do not be afraid to boot a person outta your life... there is PLENTY of people out there.. i promise you that you won't run out but if you do, just hit me up, i got plenty i can chuck your way... ...

you are with her because you KNOW her and because it's human nature to be scared of the unknown but what you should be scared of is wasting your precious time on something you already KNOW doesn't make you happy.

always go for the gold and never settle for less.

Nice to see you here again Ana, I missed you. What would this place be like without our Dear Ana replies.

PS - What about the schmuck whose SO pays the mortgage or the one that sticks together for the kids? Tryign to catch up having been gone for a week, but if I read JennySwallows post right, someone owes me a bunch of BJ's from all those unanswered flowers I have sent.

i'm sorry but i can't tell everyone everywhere what to do all the time, although i'm trying my best.

the ration of oral pleasure recieved has a direct relationship with the ratio of mortgage paid.
if dude pays 60% of the mortgage, then he gets approx 18 bjs that month. (using an average of 30 days in a month)
if he pays 50%, then he gets 15

and VICE VERSA

what the republicans dont want anyone to know is that an unhappy couple staying together screws kids up worse than a divorced couple. they actually stay together for the tax break, not the kids, don't be fooled by their bullshit.