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Not really a hobbiest question.
March 15, 2010 - 20:22
So this may end up being long, but I'll try to keep it short.
I recently started dating a lady and things are going pretty well. However there are a few things that are bothering me and could use a little advice as my friends don't know I hobby I'm hoping you all can be that friendly ear.
We've been dating 3 months now and she's a pretty good person and I enjoy spending time with her. Where the biggest problem comes in is in the bedroom. Okay yeah this is kinda a complaint, but you'll see why soon. She is pretty insatiable and likes to go at it 2 - 4 times when she is over. The problem is when we get all hot and bothered she tends to pin me down and climb ontop before I have a chance to reach in the drawer and grab a cover. If she were on the pill I wouldn't mind, but she's not so that freaks me out and no amount of riding will get me to climax with her. I've taken to basically stopping her now and I put a cover on. However the problem now seems even with a cover on I have this mental block and can't pop the cork so to speak (mine not her's). She seems to reach her satisfaction fairly quickly, but I can sense that her inability to pop my cork is starting to bother her.
Seeing I've recently been diagnosed with diabetes I thought maybe it's just the disease affecting my abilty to perform, but I have no problems with ED and I'm able to rise to occasion the numberous times per night when she wants me, but still no delivery from the creamery.
So I decided the seek professional help and saw a few providers. No problems on that front. Able to deliver at least a cup when seeking professional help. I also thought it might be because she is asian (my first time dating someone not my race), but saw an asian provider and no problems there either. BTW not being racist, but thought there might be some mental block I wasn't aware of or something.
Outside of this one issue my friends think she's great and I think she's pretty great to outside of this. However I can see this being a deal breaker. Any thoughts?
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Blunt answer. she is out for her satisfaction and not yours and that bothers you to the point it wont happen. I can only guess since you didn't mention it, you can pop when you are in control of the action with her?
IF you can not pop even when in control, it may be that you are afraid of commitment and under NO circumstances do you want to pop inside of her and have reprecussions if BC failed or wasnt used.
Just guessing, love like war has so many different scenarios that unless you can talk about it in length all the options may never be understood by those less that daily freinds to you.
I hate to ask it but is she legal or looking for a visa that could be why she is going unprotected.
I was told once by a urologist when i was young that it is not good for a male to have sex with the girl on top it was not good to climax that way and have the seamen go back into your penis, now he might have been full of shit or that long ago theu belived that to be true but it has sat in my mind ever sence and i have a hard time with that position.
It sounds to me like you know exactly what's going on. At first you got freaked out because you didn't want to knock her up. Now you can't get over that even with a condom on. I think you just need to try and relax and go a bit slower with her. Maybe start with some mutual masturbation/69 to completion for awhile then moving on to sex with oral finish and then CFSCIP after you feel comfortable.
If both of you are rather dominant in bed, you have a problem.
If that's not what it is and she's just horny go by Sin's suggestion.
I'd be worried about how badly she wants to get pregnant though... just flat out ask her and tell her that it's been worrying you.
Dogger: it was an urologist who told you that? it's BS. I know enough anatomy, physiology and pathology to know that much.
Actually I've known several guys who can't come when they aren't really active, even with BJs they need to do something.
It's often VERY exciting to work through that block and can lead to absolutely mindblowing orgasms.
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Hey thanks for all the advice. It's pretty much where I was thinking to, but just wanted to hear from someone outside my head.
Not that I hear voices in my head. Shhh.
Net