I’m a successful early-30’s guy who has been with the same girl for about 8 years now. She’s pretty good looking and we are both pretty similar when it comes to interests and preferences. Our sex life was great for the first couple of years although it was pretty standard, but now we seem to have less and less sex.

When we do have sex (about once a month) it is a pretty standard MISH affair with very little kinky stuff thrown in. We are both pretty busy with work so when the frequency of sex first diminished, I didn’t really mind too much as I thought it was because we were both too tired but now I think it has more to do with the fact that we are bored with each other. A couple of years ago I tried to breach the subject and to remedy the situation by suggesting that we try new stuff like: threesomes (man or woman), anal, and roleplaying but she just sort of got uncomfortable and said she wasn’t into anything kinky. I mean, I love the girl but she won’t even swallow my load when I ask.

Before I met her I was a frequent visitor to many local providers and enjoyed wild times with some great girls. I have been faithful to my SO up until now but I’m starting to wonder whether perhaps the only way for me to continue in this relationship is to start visiting providers again. I don’t really want to leave my girlfriend but I’m a young guy and I need more and kinkier sex.

My question to the rest of you members is whether you think that I would be cheating on my girlfriend if I start visiting providers without telling her? Obviously she would be upset if she found out but if she doesn’t give me what I want and has no interest in improving our sex life then isn’t that OK? Don’t you think its better for me to discreetly visit providers than it is for me to start dating someone else from work? If I’m not emotionally attached to the providers is it really such a big deal? Thanks for you advice!