Olympic Condoms, Gold Medal Escorts & the Marketing Orgy

So the Olympics are upon us again and we can finally all gather around the TV to enjoy a rousing match of synchronized swimming or maybe some badminton because for some reason there's actually a demand for that somewhere in the world and people devote their lives to being the best. Go figure.

Naturally, when you can young, people in top physical condition away from their regular partners they can get a bit "excited". Where the are seeking an asian escort from the local pool of Chinese talent, or getting amorous with their fellow olympians they need condoms.

This year over 100,000 free condoms are being given out to Olympic athletes and, if they're all used at the same time, it's likely China will vanish under a cloud of lube and sweaty athlete crotch stink from which it won't re-emerge until sometime in late October. What could be more important to the amateur athletes of the world than condoms? OK, maybe they'd like to win in their event, but after that it is condoms, because it is a long way to travel for the 10 seconds it takes to toss a shotput and after that you may as well hookup with some one from the women's gymnastic team or go look for a local "massage".

But there is not just an Olympic sex orgy there is an Olympic marketing orgy too. Because when a worldwide competition (read: marketing opportunity) on the scale of the Olympics comes around, there's a lot of money trading hands (and we're not talking about the money spent on sex). Commercials and advertising are huge in the Olympics and ads for condoms are no exception. Here are some of our favorites from the Chinese condom company elasun, who really seems to have gotten in to the Olympic spirit and to reach the American market, even if the slogans like "sports make you health" are a little bit of Chinglish and if they turned Nike's "Just do it" in to "Just make it".

Of course, as you might expect, some people are a little uppity about the whole massive barrage of condoms due to the fact that athletes don't generally bring their spouses or whomever with them so the idea is if they're using those condoms it really has to be with some Chinese hooker or maybe one of those sexy German power lifters.