OMGWTF is BBBJTCIM: Sex Acronyms Above and Beyond

Long ago, in the days of our swinging forefathers, which was pretty much just the 60’s and the 70’s, the lifestyle of the swinger came to prominence hand in hand with mass media.  People weren’t happy trying to just defile their neighbors’ wife, they wanted to meet new and nasty people to have fun with, and we don’t blame them.  Those people were pioneers.  Pussy pioneers.

At any rate, newspaper personals and the back pages of adult magazines became homes for numerous ads from regular joes and professionals alike offering and seeking sexual services.  But obscenity laws being what they were, things had to be discrete.  Thus, if someone wanted some backdoor action they couldn’t just come out and say anal.  They said Greek.  You want oral?  Nope, French.  Tit fucking?  Not quite, you want Russian (why?  We don’t know, just go with it).  For a long time this very simple system of code words was both cute and efficient.  Oh, you speak Greek?  Wonderful, bend over and let’s talk.

Nowadays, with everyone and their grandmother on the internet and sex a far more complex affair than just 3 minutes of silent missionary thrills like we assume our parents enjoyed, escorts have come up with more codes than the average military operation to advertise what they offer.  Ironically, in this effort to simplify things, you pretty much need a decoder ring or a degree in linguistics to keep it all in check.

We can all enjoy the simple classics like BDSM or BJ, but where the hell did BBBJTCIM come from?  That stands for bareback blowjob to completion in mouth.  That’s practically a whole sentence.  The internet, with its extensive use of BRB and LOL and so on seems to make everyone want to simplify everything and if there’s one thing that doesn’t need simplifying, it’s sex.  Especially since the simplification makes everything more complex.

If an escort says she does DATO are you really going to know what that is right off the bat?  A quick look at our decoder ring says it means “dining at the O.”   Frankly, if you don’t know what DATO means, you probably don’t know what dining at the O means either so you need to look up that too.  Our Greek speaking predecessors would be just as confused.  And, just for future reference, DATO means ass eating.  Don’t say we never taught you anything.

In the spirit of making things easier for you, we offer you this list of obvious and slightly less than obvious acronyms so that you can bookmark this page for future reference, should you ever find yourself shopping online and wondering if the escort you’re reading about is offering you a full body sensual massage (FBSM) or some kind of new tires for you car.

ATM:  ass-to-mouth (not something to propose on a first date)
BBBJTCWS:  bareback blowjob to completion with swallow (the protein shake)
BBBJWF: bareback blowjob with facial (the glazed donut look)
BBK: Big beautiful knockers (probably doesn’t refer to doors)
BBW:  Big beautiful woman (people don’t usually lie about the first B, but you might wanna confirm the second one.  And the W, too)
BLS: Ball licking and sucking (can be done with a vacuum and some butter in a pinch)
CBJ: covered blowjob (usually a condom, but party balloons are more festive)
CD: Cross dresser (because silk panties just feel kinda nice)
CIF:  Cum in face (popular in Japanese videos)
CG: Cowgirl (spurs optional)
CMG: Carpet matches drapes (rare, as we haven’t seen many bald women)
DAP:  Digital anal probe (let your fingers do the walking to the back door)
DATY: Dining at the Y - going down on a woman (much better than actual meals at the YMCA)
DDE: Doesn’t do extras (no toy with this happy meal)
DFK: Deep French kissing (bring mints, for you or her)
DSL: Dick sucking lips (almost as cool as our new invention DSR: dick sucking robot)
DT: Deepthroat (not just a fun movie to watch with the family)
FS: Full service, sex to completion ( pump, squirt, sleep)
FW: Foot worship (this little piggie was a naughty, naughty girl)
GFE: Girlfriend experience (the good kind of girlfriend, not the one who bitches about your mom)
GS: Golden shower (snorkel not included)
GSM: G-spot massage (reach for the stars, or just in a couple inches and up a little)
HJ: Hand job (manual labor)
HWP:  Height/weight proportionate (not a rectangle)
LK: Light kissing, closed mouth (like a visit from grandma)
MSOG: Multiple shots on goal, getting off more than once (pump, squirt, sleep, repeat)
OWOTC: Oral without condom to completion (mouthfuls of fun)
PSE:  Porn Star Experience (probably doesn’t include a crowd watching)