Smarter men hire escorts more often!

We’re all aware of the stigma attached to prostitution, many holier-than-thou folks treat you like there’s something wrong with you if once a week you pay a woman to squat over you in a pool full of margarita mix and rub her ass on your face. Like everyone’s not doing it too or something. Hypocrites. 

Thankfully though, there is some evidence to suggest not only Is nothing wrong with you if you hire escorts, something may be better about you than the average joe. Which is to say the average joe is, in fact, average while you are above average.

According to one survey, just under 17% of respondents had paid for sex since their 18th birthday but of the respondents with the highest IQ, 22% had paid for sex. This in turn demonstrates what you’ve always suspected to be true: you are making the smart choice by banging an escort.

Arguably one could say that average ladies who don’t technically have sex for money, like girlfriends, wives and nuns, are just snotty broads who’d rather bang Ginos than guys with intelligence and therefore smart guys have a harder time getting laid, but realistically it probably just goes to show we (I like to think I’m in the high IQ club, I did go to college more than once and spent nearly half the time sober) figured out what the knuckle draggers of the world haven’t, that sometimes it’s simply more practical, economical, efficient and above all fun to find a girl, pay for her time and get that rusty trombone that your wife simply refuses to do.

No particular reason was given about why those with demonstrably higher intelligence were somewhat more likely to pay for sex, but we can always put the powers of our massive intellects to the task of figuring it out. For instance, some possibly reasons could include:

• Paying for sex rather than pursuing some bar skank allows for more time to devote to things like curing cancer, finding tax loopholes, playing chess and translating Ikea instructions
• Anal sex and facials stimulate neurons and cause synapses to fire 1.3 times faster than normal.
• Escorts contain high concentrations of B vitamins, Gingko and fiber. 

Those may not be the best reasons under the sun or even what scientists would call “remotely plausible” but hey, beyond the understanding that an escort is less of a hassle when it comes to just wanting nothing but sex, what other reason could there be?

There’s probably some manner of deep, scientific meaning that can be derived from all of this, but in the end the only real thing that need be taken away from this is that the various demeaning things you hear from the ignorant, unwashed and apparently unfucked masses about pay-for-play just don’t matter. Why?  Because a fairly significant increase in numbers shows that paying for sex and above average intelligence go hand in hand, that’s why. But being a fairly intelligent person already you don’t need me to give you excuses as to why being with escorts is OK. You probably came to your own conclusions during that first blowjob.

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